The Painting

He made his first painting when he was ten years old. He hid the painting in one of his note books. He was shy. He was afraid to show it to anybody. After some days he forgot all about it.

Then one day his English teacher happened to see the painting in the notebook.

She asked him, “Who made this painting?”

He thought he was going to be punished for wasting time painting when he should have been studying.

“I did it”, he said trembling. 

Aam Aadmi Party – Some Stray Thoughts

A few days prior to the Delhi assembly elections a colleague asked me whom I would vote for.

I said, “Aam Aadmi Party.”

She then asked, “Will the party win?”

I said, “No. They may get only a few seats, or may not get any seat at all. But this is a new party, they apparently have good intentions, beyond just winning seats and coming to power. So I would support them regardless of their winning or not winning any seat.”

I believe one should vote for the party whose ideals coincide the closest to one’s own rather than the chance of winning. Frankly, I did not think the party would win a large number of seats. But I was sure it was going to make an impact. And it did. The results are there for all to see.

××××××××××

In the recent history India has so far experienced three major revolutions.

The first was, of course, the non-violent struggle against the mighty British Empire led by Mahatma Gandhi. The battle was staged for several decades engaging millions of Indians. Hundreds of people sacrificed their lives for the noble cause. After independence, Gandhiji opined that the Indian National Congress be disbanded. For him the Congress was founded (incidentally by an English man named Allan Octavian Hume) for the sole purpose of acting as a forum under which to fight for freedom. Once the purpose was achieved, it was of no relevance. But the party leaders had other plans. They knew the Congress party had a deep influence over the minds of the people and wanted to exploit the goodwill to remain in power. Lord Acton had said, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Gandhiji preferred to stay out of power once India attained Independence.

The second is the Total Revolution led by Jayaprakash Narayan in the mid-70s. The movement started in Bihar as a protest against the widespread corruption in the state. It soon took a dramatic turn and spread to all over India as a strong movement against corruption of the then ruling Congress party. The movement gathered such a momentum that Prime Minister Indira Gandhi declared an Internal Emergency and began something of a military rule. Thousands of people were arrested and put behind bars.

In the general elections in 1977, the Congress party was routed. Mrs Gandhi herself was pathetically defeated by a till then unknown Raj Narain.  The non-Congress political parties had come together and formed the Janata Party which had fought against the Congress. This party then came to power. It was formed by merging several other parties, which believed in different principles and policies. Theirs was a marriage of convenience, with the sole purpose of defeating the Congress Party.

Like Gandhiji in 1947, Jayaprakash Narayan, too, preferred to stay out of power politics and left things to be handled by the new leaders. But due to lack of an effective (or having a multi-cornered) leadership, the experiment tragically collapsed and the party and the government withered away in just under three years. Mrs Indira Gandhi and the Congress Party stormed back to power again.

The third revolution, albeit in a smaller scale (at least for now) is the birth of Aam Admi Party (AAP). The party was born out of the non-political movement led by Anna Hazare against corruption. Though the movement received country-wide attention, it still remained a movement, and withered away after a few weeks. It was then that some people led by the vibrant Arvind Kejriwal realized that if one needs to clean the dirt, one needs to step into the dirt oneself. It was from this realization that AAP was formed as a political party. Once the party was formed, it had to act fast, and it did exactly that. It took part in the Delhi assembly elections.

How did AAP, a party formed less than a year ago, manage to win 28 seats relegating Congress (which ruled Delhi continuously for 15 years) to the third position with just eight seats in the Delhi elections? Remember, Congress is more than a century and a quarter old and was the main forum under which our leaders fought and won Independence from the British. The history of Congress is also the history of India’s struggle for independence. The party has been, and is, so much attached to our minds. And yet ...

There is just one reason: AAP looks and sounds different!

AAP is different in several ways from mainstream political parties. I do not consider AAP as a political party at all. It is a concept, it is a movement, it is activism to the core. None of its current leaders are politicians. They are all professionals in one way or another. They have noble intentions. They are willing to work, and even resort to activism, towards the general good of the common people. Their goal is not to come to power at any cost. This new party is the hope of the future. The leaders are ready to come down from glass houses and mingle with the common people, like you and I. 

They are our voice—the voice of the frustrated people. Frustrated due to corruption, nepotism, power- and money-hungry politics, criminalisation of politics, and so on and so forth. We have been travelling through a dark and fearful tunnel for several decades. Now we see a spark of light at the end of the tunnel. No wonder we eagerly embraced and supported the movement. It is a brand new refreshing idea.

Corruption has become an integral part of our life. The ‘habit’ has gone deep into our blood. It is no big deal if one has to bribe for any, I repeat, ANY, activity. It is the norm.

During elections, political parties make several promises, development being the most common among them.  ‘Development’ is a magic word which encompasses the people’s hopes and aspirations. But none, to my mind, have talked about eradicating corruption from public life. Wisely so. Because things have come to such a pass that without organised corruption and crime, no political party can exist. True, a few cases have been filed against top politicians including some ministers. Some have been arrested too. They spent a few months in jails (converted into five-star suites for them). But no organised efforts have been made to eradicate corruption despite cases involving hundreds of crores of rupees coming to light. How many of them have been punished?

If corruption could first be checked and then reversed (which at any cost is no easy task because it is so deep rooted), economic, social, and all other developments will automatically follow. Through swaraj AAP intends to bestow the common man with the power which has so far been vested with the politicians. Politicians, however, have their own interests, their families’ interests, and the party’s interests to keep. The common people, who elected them, are usually not even remembered. Till the time of the next elections, that is.

One can attribute several reasons to the phenomenal growth of AAP in a very short time such as (i) to be seen on the winning side, and AAP is now the winning party, (ii) a natural attraction towards anything new, (iii) as easy access to power and fame, (iv) a genuine inclination to serve the people and the country and to fight against corruption. The party should guard mainly against the third group. Mostly politicians from other political parties fall in this category. They might be disgruntled elements rejected or sidelined by their original party. These people will look forward to highjack the new party for their personal advantage. The unprecedented and tremendous public support is an added reason for these elements to join the party.

Criticism against the Party should not be given undue importance. These are bound to happen, when working opposite to two of the most powerful parties in the country. However, there is no doubt that the support extended to the party by the general public has got others panicked. The passing of the Lok Pal Bill which had been pending for 44 years; the Congress Vice-President’s call to eradicate corruption; his criticism of the Maharashtra government on the Adarsh report rejection; are all pointers to this fright. Welcome change, indeed. But, however, a late realisation. Late realisation that people will react, that they cannot be taken for granted, that they have grown up from being a donkey (“Public is donkey”- old saying).

It will, however, be better if AAP keeps a few points in mind. It should go slightly slow. It should not try to gobble up more than a mouthful which will choke them. While the party probably has presence in most of the states, it should not burn its fingers at the 2014 elections. It was different in the Delhi assembly polls. The party used the whole of its resources in Delhi and could concentrate in the small state. But the effort may be diluted during the Lok Sabha elections because of the enormity of the task involved. While the party should contest from as many seats as possible, it should assess its winning chance and restrict contesting from only those seats. Winning 50 out of 100 contested seats is better than 55 out of 200.

A Malayalam saying goes like this: If one eats slowly one can eat even a palm tree.

Those who criticise the party should remember that no one, NO ONE, is perfect. If AAP says it is perfect, one hundred per cent pure, etc. it is trying to fool itself. No human is perfect. No party is perfect. No organisation is perfect. Every party or individual have positive and negative qualities. Haven’t even Gods made mistakes? It is only a matter of comparison – who is better? Or at least, who looks and sounds better?

There has been severe criticism of AAP’s recent dharna. This reminded me of a few movies in different languages where an ordinary man (‘aam admi’) gets the chance to become the chief minister of his state for a day or a few days. Through extreme bold actions he fights against corruption and crime and cleans the system. I am sure people might have said, “Oh! This is a movie. Nothing like this will happen in real life”. I said so to myself. You couldn’t have hoped against hope.

But I feel this is exactly what happened in Delhi, minus the accompanying stunts and drama in a commercial film. But I, however, feel that the reason for such a huge show, the dharna, involving the whole cabinet has been belittled. Instead of asking for action against a few police officers, if the demand had been for a much bigger issue such as bringing the Delhi Police under the state, it would have been more meaningful and the criticism could have been avoided.

It may be wiser for the party to keep away from unnecessarily criticising the media. Don’t forget that the media had an important role in the phenomenal publicity that the party got in Delhi. All officers in the Delhi Police may not be as corrupt as it has been made out. But, yes, a few bad elements are good enough for bringing bad name to the whole force.

At this moment Aam Admi Party sounds and looks better than other parties. It holds a lot of promise. I hope and wish and pray that it is here to stay, it is here to rewrite the history of Indian politics, and it is here to realise the true meaning and power of democracy. I hope that this government will complete its full term of five years and make a deep and permanent impact in the political scenario of the country as a whole.

For the first time I have taken membership of a political party. I am now a proud member of Aam Admi Party. Also I shall vote for AAP in the next elections. I feel we should at least give a chance to this young and vibrant party to prove itself. Let us give them some time to sit down and relax (though they don’t seem to be in a mood to). 

A Short Break!

Dear readers,

I am taking a short break for now.

It has been an exciting journey. I am grateful to all those who encouraged and helped me in this journey. I look forward to similar encouragement when I return.

Hope to see you soon.

Pothoppuram Kesavan Jayanthan

The Meditating Shadow – IV: The Magician Returns

Earlier posts:             The MeditatingShadow

                                    The Meditating Shadow – II: The Shadow Gets a Body

                                    The Meditating Shadow – III: I Return Home

Three months had passed since my return from the ‘hell’ and hospital. I continued the physical and speech exercises as advised by the doctor. Now I am able to walk around within my home. My ability to speak, too, has been restored to some extent.

I told the villagers my story of the past eight years – how the magician had made me a shadow and how I was forced to rob and even kill people and such other stories. I told them how the magician used the money he collected from them to purchase a property for himself. I told them everything I knew. It was like a fairy tale for them. I also told them that he would certainly return to take over the village. They, however, vowed that they would never allow that to happen. Having known the magician thoroughly, I was skeptical. I knew he would. I knew how clever and crooked he was. He would do anything to attain what he wanted.

One day I was reading the morning newspaper while sipping my cup of tea. I suddenly felt a pull. It was, kind of, an attraction towards something unknown. The next instant I realized what was happening.

I was devastated.

I realized the magician had returned and was trying to find out the shadow he had left behind. I had thought that after more than three years I had automatically been freed from his clutches. But, no, I wasn’t. I got panicked. Terribly panicked, indeed. I didn’t know what to do. I had got back my body, but he could still control my mind!

I immediately called my wife at the top of my voice. I ran towards the main door. I not only bolted but also locked it. Then I rushed towards the bed room. My wife was terrified seeing what I was doing. I lay down on the coat and asked her to tie my hands and legs to the coat. She was confused, puzzled, and worried.

She asked, “What happened? What are you asking me to do?”

I told her, “All explanations later. Do what I asked you to do. Now. NOW!”

She was panicked, too, but at my behaviour. She did what I told her. I asked her to use strong rope and tie me very tightly so that I would not be able to free myself.

By then the pulling on my mind had become stronger. I was panting and perspiring profusely. She sat near me and looked at me extremely concerned.

I told her, “He has returned.”

She jumped up the next instant. She looked more worried than me. She knew who the ‘he’ was.

She asked, “How do you know? You didn’t go out of the home today.”

I told her, “I don’t have to go out to see him. I can feel his presence. I can feel the pressure. He is calling me back.”

I asked her to inform the panchayat president immediately. Somehow they have to disturb him from the magic he was doing then. Or else … The president asked her not to worry and said he would take care of everything. She returned and sat near me. She started to perspire, too. She had never been so worried. Even when I went missing.  

Several villagers had already met the collector and had apprised him of the truth upon my revelations. He, in turn, had informed the village police station and had instructed to take necessary action if and when the magician returned. I had also given my statement to the police and met the collector.

The president collected a few members and went to the magician’s home after informing the police of the return of the magician. He didn’t even have to verify the fact. He knew my feeling could not be wrong.

Soon the police arrived and took the magician into custody. He tried to resist his arrest in every way possible. He denied each and every charge made against him. But when he was told that I had given a statement to the police, he fell silent. He realized that the game was over. He had hoped that I would remain a shadow till he returned. He was terribly upset when told that I had got my body back.

He was tried for several cases including murder, cheating, illegal confinement, conspiracy, misuse of power, and so on under various sections of the IPC. Several villagers went to the court and deposed against him. My statements with all the graphic details were, however, the most damning proof against him.

The magician, after several months of trial, was given the life sentence and was sent to jail. The villagers finally heaved a sigh of relief. But my family and I was the most happy for getting rid of him for good (I hope so!).

The flat purchased by the magician was taken over by the collector and handed over to the village panchayat. It is now being used as the panchayat office and as a common facility for the villagers.

[Concluded]

The Meditating Shadow – III: I Return Home

Earlier posts:    The Meditating Shadow

                           TheMeditating Shadow – II: The Shadow Gets a Body

After three days the doctor advised that my hair be cut and I may be given a shave. There was only one barber in the village. He was requested to undertake the task. The barber was an old man who had taken over their tiny barber shop when his father passed away.

After completing the work, he looked at me and said that I now looked great. I looked at him in his eyes. He knew everyone in the village. I hoped against hope that at least now somebody should recognize me. I had no idea if my physical features had changed after having been a shadow for eight years.

I signaled him that I wanted to look in the mirror. He placed the mirror in front of me. I looked carefully. Fortunately there were still traces of the old features. The barber in the meantime was watching me carefully. Suddenly he thought he had seen me somewhere. He, however, couldn’t place me anywhere. He was confused. He called Mr Shrivastava in. Shrivastava came in, looked at me and said, “Well, you have done a good job. Now he looks like a human being.”

The barber asked him, “Do you think you have seen him earlier?”

Mr Shrivastava was puzzled at this query and looked at him. Then he looked back at me. The barber’s query was a watershed for me. I prayed to God, “Oh! God! Please help him recognize me. Please, Please.”

Shrivastava came nearer and looked at me very intently. I looked back in his eyes. I tried to tell him that I am his old friend Vinay Sharma.

Suddenly there was a glitter in his eyes and surprise in his expressions. He probably couldn’t trust his eyes or senses. He came still nearer, took my hand in his hands, continued to look straight into my eyes and asked, “Uh .. Well .. Vinay .. Are you Vinay Sharma?”

I thought a lightening has struck me. At last here is some light at the end of the long tunnel. I didn’t know how to react. I pressed his hand in my hands and nodded my head violently so that he did not miss my affirmative answer even for a moment. Suddenly my eyes overflowed and two little streams told him he was right. Now he was more confident.

He asked me, “Aren’t you Vinay Sharma who vanished several years ago?”

I nodded my head again and again and looked straight into his eyes. I drew him as close to me as possible and embraced him as strongly as I could. He didn’t feel the strength, but he felt the emotion. He embraced me, too, and patted on my back. I suddenly realized he too was crying.

The emotional outburst I felt was too much for me to bear. I lost consciousness and fell back on the bed.

The doctor was immediately called. While the doctor attended to me, Shrivastava rushed out. He nearly ran to my home. He disclosed the invaluable news to whoever came in front of him.

“Vinay Sharma has returned.”

And the news spread like wild fire and also reached my wife. She couldn’t trust her ears or senses. Who wants to play such a cruel prank on her? It was then that Shrivastava came in. He was panting, having nearly run for more than two kilometres.

He told my wife, “Have you heard? Vinay has returned. He is in the hospital.”

She was still confused.

She said, “Yes, I heard that too. I don’t know who wants to play this joke on us.”

“No, it is not a joke. It is the truth. I saw him. I recognized him. In fact it was I who had taken him to the hospital from under the banyan tree where we found him three days ago.”

She looked at him stunned. This was indeed the shock of her life. The most pleasant one at that. She was in the kitchen preparing breakfast when Shrivastava broke the news to her. She rushed out in her nightie and uncombed hair. Only on reaching the road did she realize that she had a laden in her hand. She threw it away and ran to the hospital.

She was about to barge into the room when the doctor stopped her.

He said, “Wait. Wait, Mrs Sharma. Listen. Mr Sharma is very weak. He has difficulty in even moving his hands and legs. He cannot speak. Just be as normal as possible when you meet him. Don’t tax him too much emotionally.”

She heard and agreed to everything the doctor said. But nothing had registered in her mind. Each word bounced on her intense wish to see her long lost husband.

He also said, “In this condition I would not normally allow any visitors. But I understand this special situation. So you may go in, but remember what I told you.”

She came in with fear, apprehension, hope and towering above all, a heart full of love. She looked at me. I was, sort of sleeping. I had lost and regained consciousness several times during the past three days.

She slowly, silently sat on the bed and caressed my face. It was the tears that fell on my face that woke me up. I opened my eyes and looked at her. It didn’t take any time for my eyes to replicate hers. She passionately kissed me on the forehead. It felt like an electric shock. Eight years had passed since I met her, touched her, or talked to her. I tried to draw her closer as tightly as I could. But my hands were so weak that I could only hope that she would never leave me. Never, ever. She could not hold herself. She kissed me on my forehead, cheeks, and lips and embraced me like never before. No word came out from either of us. But we talked a lot. Through mere touch, the kisses, the tears, the embraces. It may have been ten or fifteen minutes when the doctor came in. He requested her to leave me alone for some time which she hesitantly did.

By then the whole village had gathered outside the hospital. They were all surprised and happy at the same time. They were very eager to have a look at me and hear my story. They had, however, to be satisfied by Shrivastava’s story of how he found me under the banyan tree in the village square naked and ill and took me to hospital. He also told them how he recognised me after I had a shave. He told them that I was so weak that I couldn’t even move my hands and legs, nor could I speak. I stayed in the hospital for three more days. By then I was able slowly to sit up, and move my hands. My wife stayed with me constantly. She didn’t sleep even during nights. If she happened to take a nap due to complete exhaustion and sleeplessness, she would wake up at the slightest sound. Any amount of persuasion from friends and relatives couldn’t make her go home.

I was discharged after seven days. I went home with my wife and daughter. Doctor had prescribed several exercises for restoration of the body functions and speech.  Everybody was grateful to God that I had all my mental powers intact despite the pathetic physical condition I was in. In about a month I could talk a few words. After another two months I was able to talk normally, move around within the house, laugh, and attend to my daily chores.

It was a new life for me for which I thanked each and every God whose name I knew.

The Meditating Shadow – II: The Shadow Gets a Body

A sequel to my earlier post: The meditating shadow

One evening I was sitting under the banyan tree in the village square. There was nothing else to do. I didn’t have to eat. I didn’t have to drink. I didn’t have to do anything that a human being normally does. I didn’t feel hungry or thirsty.  I never slept. I was not affected by sunlight or rain, summer or winter, night or day. I didn’t have the fear of getting ill, or injured, or meeting with an accident. In short, my existence was not an existence at all. Sometimes I used to take a walk around the village. I used to see several of my friends engaged in routine activities. They went for a walk, went to market, went to office, drove their cars, and organized functions in the village. I wanted to cry aloud and shout at the top of my voice. But no tears flowed down from my eyes, and no voice came out.

I had made it a point to go to my home every day at least once. I watched my wife toiling hard. I used to help her in the domestic front. Now she was managing it all on her own. She has been doing it since my ‘vanishing’ eight years ago. I had heard her several times telling our relatives and friends that I had no reason to run away from home. We were quite happy. We never had any misunderstanding between us. She wondered if I might have met with an accident. If so, then why are there no records in police stations or hospitals? Was I kidnapped? She found no reason for anybody to kidnap me. She knew I didn’t have any serious problems in the office either. Yet she made enquiries in the office to find out if there was something which she hadn’t known. I did not. My disappearance remained a mystery for the whole village. They stopped searching for me after a few years. My wife, too, had lost all hopes of my return.

It was the annual festival time in the village temple. I watched the hectic preparations. This was an occasion when the villagers celebrated a lot. They got an opportunity to showcase their talents. I used to take active part in all such events in the village. People don’t even remember me now. I don’t blame them. Who has the time to remember somebody who has been missing for more than eight years?

I had lost hope of returning to my earlier life ever. At times I thought of running away to a distant place so that I didn’t have to see the pathetic condition of my wife and daughter. I asked myself, ‘Why did the magician restore my thinking power to me before his leaving?’ By doing it he has only increased my suffering. Or, maybe he didn’t do it deliberately. A few days after he detached me physically from his body, my brain had got back its power almost fully. A brain without a head to hold it! A non-existent head on a non-existent body!

One evening I was sitting under the tree watching the sunset. Three years … and I have not missed out the sunrise or the sunset even for a day.

 

Suddenly I felt something strange. Am I feverish? Why this nausea?  I thought I was ‘feeling’ the soil on which I sat and lay. I had forgotten how it felt to touch the earth, water, a human being, or anything for that matter. How can I feel? I cannot. I did not. Not in the last eight years. I tried to touch the ground with my hand. It was then that I noticed I can sense the movement of my hand. And, and, Oh, God! Oh, God! What’s it? Am I seeing my hand? And my legs? And my body? I could feel the earth, the soil, the rock, and the grass!

It was the shock of my life. How come I was getting back my body three years after the magician had left? I then remembered that the magician had repeated the ‘shadow’ act a few times on me. The last one was the day he left. That was a longer session. At the end he had told me, “Okay, now you are safe for three years.”

I had asked, “Safe?”

He had said, “Yes, you will remain a shadow for another three years now. I shall return by then. And then, we shall take over the village and will rule forever.”

And now, I am getting back my body. And the magician has not yet returned. That was the happiest moment of my life. My body was slowly, but surely, returning! Is it a dream? Or is it really happening? Was I feeling thirsty? And hungry? And weak? I felt terribly tired, indeed. I had forgotten how it was to be thirsty or hungry or tired. I thought I would at that very moment die of excitement. I felt tears flowing down my cheeks. I was so thrilled that I didn’t know what to do.

I just sat there, then lay tired.

And slept like a log.

It was paining all over my body when I woke up. I thought somebody was kicking me. I saw a huge crowd of children around me. They were calling me mad man, thief, terrorist, and all kinds of names which can be attributed to an utterly horrible-looking stranger. They were hitting me with sticks and throwing stones. That was when I woke up. I wanted to plead with them to be kind to me. That I was one among them. That I was their dear uncle who vanished several years ago.

It was then that Mr Shrivastava came forward and admonished the children. He looked at me and asked, “Who are you?”

I told him, “I am …”

But, hey, what’s it? Where is my voice? Have I forgotten to talk? I tried my best to tell him that I was the same man who they all thought had vanished several years ago. I tried to talk to him again … and again … and again. But, alas, no sound came out of my lips. I was devastated. Tears flowed down my cheeks.

He must have felt sympathy on me. He then removed his shirt and gave me. He said, “Come on, cover yourself.”

It was then that I looked at my body. Oh, Goodness! I was stark naked! How could I not realize this earlier? I also felt my long hair, may be several feet. And beard which had grown past my chest! Movements were very difficult for me. But I managed to cover me with the shirt he so graciously lent me, with great difficulty, though. He took me to the village hospital. It was more of a small nursing home, but that was where we all used to go for all treatments, except surgeries and major illnesses.

The doctor immediately put me on glucose. I was nearly unconscious for most part of the next two days. Maybe from exhaustion. May be from excitement. Whenever I came around, I tried to talk but no voice came out.

After being on glucose and liquid diet for two days I was slightly better. I felt stronger. The news spread throughout the village that a naked and ill man was found under the banyan tree in the village square. A few of the village elders came to see me. I knew all of them. But unfortunately none of them recognized me.

[To continue]

The Meditating Shadow - I

I was a happy man. With my wife and daughter. In a small house. In a small village. All of us in the village were happy and content. Life was smooth. The village council was hard working, transparent, democratic, and sincere.

Then he came one evening. With long hair, drooping moustache, and a cloth bag on his shoulder. He settled under the banyan tree in the village square.

Curious children slowly approached him. He smiled. He showed them some magical tricks. They were excited and tremendously impressed. They called him magic uncle. We called him the magician. Where was he from? China? Japan? No one knew. He spoke many languages. He was highly educated. He was an enigma to us. He cast his spell over us. I, like a few others, wanted to be with him as long as possible.

In a few weeks we started approaching him for help, for advice, for conflict resolutions. His hold over us was complete and final. We did not do anything without his advice and consent.

In the next election the magician became the president of the village council, or panchayat. He had a special liking for me. I became his spokesperson. I was proud to be his lieutenant.

Soon, however, he started dictating terms to the villagers. Beautification of the village, building of a wall around the village, building roads, building wells, and many other such small and large things. For everything he collected money from us. I actively supported him. I was ready to do anything for the benefit of the village.

Several months passed. No roads. No wells. No boundary wall. Absolutely nothing. I was confused, just as a few others were. One day I asked him politely, “Sir, when do we get our roads and wells?”

He fell silent. He was thoughtful for a few moments. Then he smiled and told me, “Come, I shall show you a special magic.”

I was thrilled. A special magic! Only for me! Out of all the people in the village! Wow!

“Come”, he said.

I went with him. To his home. To a dark room.  In my excitement I did not even remember that he had not answered my question.

“Sit”, he said.

I sat on a chair.

“Close your eyes”.

I did as I was told.

I didn’t know what he did. I could only hear some prayers, sound of moving objects. I could also feel his hands on my head a few times. Slowly I began to feel different. Initially it was a pleasant feeling. Like when you lose consciousness slowly. A kind of heavenly feeling. I thought I was losing weight. A lot of weight. I feared I would be blown away by the gentle breeze of the fan. I felt very weak. Then I was scared. What’s happening?

After some time (I had lost sense of the passing of the time) he said, “Now you can open your eyes.”

I could not believe what I saw. There was no I. Only a black colour. Only the shape of a man. I could see through me. Or rather there was nothing to see. My body had vanished. I was terrified. I was shattered. What has the magician done to me?

I looked at him and asked, “Sir, what have you done to me? What happened to my body?”

He said, “You have become a shadow. MY shadow.”

“Shadow?” I didn’t understand.

“Yes. From now on you have no existence without me. You will do exactly as I command. You will not be able to think or act independently.”

I was shattered. “Oh! God! Why did you do this to me?”

The magician didn’t answer me. He slowly stood up. As if stuck to him, I stood up, too. And followed him.  As he said I had lost my existence. Nobody could see or hear or feel me. For them I had gone missing. But I could see and hear everybody. I helplessly watched the whole village searching for me everywhere and frantically calling up their friends and relatives. I saw my devastated family. My wife. My daughter. Several rumours went round on my disappearance. Nobody suspected the magician. In fact he led the search. He interacted with the police. Sometimes he turned to me and smiled reassuringly. It meant, “You don’t worry, everything will be all right”.

I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t kill myself which I very much wanted to do then. I cursed me for befriending the magician. For trusting him. For confiding in him. For helping him. For letting me, my family, and the whole village down. I silently prayed to God to save the village from the magician’s clutches. But it looked like God was sleeping and didn’t hear me.

The magician began to play his unholy games using me. I was forced to kill for him. I burgled for him. I stole for him. I could not resist. I destroyed the calmness of the village. I made the villagers fight each other. I made people distrust each other. I could only obey what he ordered me to do. I had no power to resist him. I was nothing but his shadow.

Maybe a year went by. Or two. Or was it three? I had lost count of weeks and months. Then one day the renegade shouted that the magician was a cheat. He climbed on a tree and shouted at the top of his voice, “The magician is a cheat. He killed people. He burgled you.”

That was the first voice against the magician. The renegade went on shouting, “Where is the money he collected? Where is the road he promised? Where are the wells he promised? Where is the peace and prosperity he promised?  Where is the development?”

The villagers had a feeling that everything was not well. The renegade’s words strengthened their doubts. Also the magician’s spell had slowly begun to weaken over the years. Consequently my thinking power, too, returned. Gradually more and more people realised that the magician was not a boon, but a bane for the village.

They remembered the peaceful and happy days before the arrival of the magician. They were worried about the present pathetic condition of the village. They wanted a change. A change back to the original village, if not better. They wanted freedom. Freedom from the clutches of the magician. Freedom from exploitation. Freedom from autocracy. Freedom from corruption.

I saw the change coming over the people. I was glad. I hoped they would come forward to kick the magician out of the village. The renegade’s shouting continued day in and day out. The magician wanted to get rid of him. He also feared that his words would influence the innocent villagers. He ordered me to finish him. I was stunned. The renegade’s shouting was the only hope I had to attain my own freedom. I knew it was his tree-top revelations and shouting that awakened the conscious of the people. I had to save him somehow. But I knew I was helpless. I had no option but to obey the magician.

I told him, “Sir, if he is killed now, people will accuse you. They may even turn against you.”

The magician realised that things were going wrong. He also understood that the power of his spell over them was weakening. He was afraid that if the whole village rose against him he would not be able to stand against them. So he devised another way.

The magician then went and told the collector that there is a renegade in the village who is disturbing the peace and tranquility of the village. He, therefore, requested the collector to call a meeting of the village with the single object of expelling the renegade from the village permanently.

The collector, who had a special liking for the magician, called a meeting of the villagers. During the meeting the collector realised that things were not as smooth and as straightforward as he had been given to understand. He found that almost everybody was against the magician and blamed him for the pathetic condition of the village. The single agenda of expelling the renegade could not even be taken up. Instead the villagers wanted the restoration of the panchayat, which system the magician had abolished.

The panchayat, therefore, was restored and new members elected. The magician wanted and hoped to become the president.  Since matters had gone against his own expectations and wishes, that was the only option available to him. But that didn’t happen. He was voted out. 

The magician was very disappointed. He had hoped that people would once again elect him as the leader. He had, however, been humiliated by the whole village. What if they found out that he purchased his house with the money he collected from them? He couldn’t sleep that night.

The next morning he told me, “I am going out for a few days. I shall soon return. I shall take control of the village again. Wait for me.”

I pleaded, “Please restore my body to me before you go. I can go and live with my family. Please, please.”

But he did not. He, however, released me from my bond to his body. So I could stay back in the village while he went away seeking to rejuvenate his magical powers. Nearly five years had passed since he made me his shadow. My wife and daughter have learned to live without me. The villagers believed that I had run away due to some mysterious reasons.

*************

It has been three years since the magician had left the village. I have been meditating under the banyan tree in the village square since then. I am waiting for him. Every moment, every hour, every day, every month. When will he come and restore my body?